This is who my husband has made me out to be. The novelty of getting your ex back in your arms could seem intoxicating and the sex may be fabulous. A member told me If they truly love you they will fight for you that's true love but if they don't do we actually want to spend any more time on loving them and getting nothing back or moving on and becoming stronger. He dealt with depression and personality issues and even though I know he had genuine loving feelings for me for the first year, he was too poisoned about his life and slightly commitment-scared to completely open his heart to me, because nothing too bad happened that could kill his love for me. He had me over for dinner last night and tonight we are going out to listen to a band. He's ultra religious and felt he needed to dedicate himself to the church.
Needless to say, I wouldn't go to bed with him now. I tried for a matter of hours and that was days after the break up and it made me feel sick inside. I also can't truly do therapy except in the state in which I'm licensed, which is California. Someone who loves you will fight for you and fight through the bad with you and work it out. I don't want to be one of those stupid people but I know i'm acting like one by still talking to him. I pushed myself beyond limit to almost having suicidal thoughts. My needs were not being met at that point either but I was still trying to make him happy and I overlooked a lot because I love him so much.
I had a bit of a weak moment last night and had a nosy on a dating site, and there was a girl who seemed right for me. That was the last thing he said to me, well second to last. I would try to do something unique with every relationship. Maybe you think it ended for the wrong reasons. I originally wrote this post a couple of years ago.
Suppose a guy, in that site, asked you out. He wrote me emails that's week saying he misses me and still loves me? If you go to my web site, randigunther dot com, and hit the icon for Psychology Today, you can find the 140 articles I've written for them in the last five years. I used to be with him 4 nights a week, met his family etc. Getting back with an ex is never an easy feat. I came up with ways to fix this communication breakdown, which we both agreed were working. The worst is feeli g so comfortable looking into eachothers eyes.
He would message everyday me saying he missed me, would see me soon when he felt better. Which is what makes me so miserable. And you know what they say—what comes around goes around. Then he said he didn't love me anymore last month and wanted a divorce. I stupidly accepted and believed him. Don't log back in otherwise you will be re-granting consent.
You need to make sure, from the beginning of every relationship, that the emotional exchanges are reciprocal. Those lingering questions that you are dying to know the answer before can now be answered without hesitation. I guess it's just a unconscious way to make him feel pity for me and hence receive some love. But the contact is over and he has not messaged me or anything. And then he messages me and asks me if I still liked him, And I did still like him so I said yeah. I've got some character and can get a bit bossy too but have tools to manage that.
I'm trying to keep busy with my job and professional plans, spending time with my friends meeting other guys, but I hardly like anyone around me and the ones I've occasionally felt attracted to are out of my reach normally in other countries. Over this period it has become more and more frequent. Give your ex the space and time to do so. I didn't think I would be able to for a long time but sometimes it just happens. I don't understand why someone would insist they love you and say that they want things to work out but don't think they can, then go looking for someone else the next day. As far as I know, his previous relationship ended due to him feeling about her more like a friend than a partner. The love and intimacy felt good but the pain and loss of them dropping me again was intense.
I'm considering and have mentioned going to a therapist or psychologist with him to help him get better, but he wants to take it as a thing that will help us be better together. Resist the urge, however, to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating. I felt like i was telling my friends everything and asking them for advice but in reality I just needed to face him and stop lying to myself. A part of me still hopes that he will come back, but I realize that that is most likely never going to happen. I gave her real and selfless love.