However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Quick copy of your license, please pee in this cup, and have a great time tonight! Dads one of my favorite customers has five kids and was giving me parenting advice when is old enough to date—which will be in about 30 years. Daughters what other rules do your dads put on your dates? Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. He is married to one SuperParentMom, and raising three world changers. I may appear to be a potbellied, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.
Andi, I agree completely and you open up and address some issues that I would handle differently in a nuclear family or a blended one with same morals and ethical values. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. For more details on his custody course visit,. The camouflaged gun-pointed-face at the window is mine. And I remember what I was like at that age too, God help my family at that time. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
And Caitlyn is still a very young teen. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and enough land behind the house. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating my daughter. Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Actually this issue is the making of a great blog post.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. My Christian parenting values would normally let me focus on abstinence only. Places where there is darkness. A: Shop Rules For Dating My Daughter 1 You Cant - Mens V-neck T-shirt By Canvas - custom made just for you. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. Not in front of me—ever until after you marry her, then not in front of me.
Your murder would only be my first offense—self defense. I do wish I had a shotgun sometimes, though. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. I remembered feeling like I wanted to lock Amanda in a room and throw away the room at 13.
You will no longer have hands. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you or you are proposing marriage. When my Agent Orange starts acting up the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. Fred Campos, Top Geek, blogs about everything from to. Addtional shipping cost will be applied for heavy items and fragile items. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.
This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. I have a network of good attorneys. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. Available on many styles, sizes, and colors. In addition to blogging, he is a public speaker and humorist in child custody, social media, web development and parenting. Dads what would you add to the list? Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka — zipped up to her throat.
I do advice owning a shot gun, even if your purpose is just to clean it publicly every now and then. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. . As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight, speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car — there is no need for you to come inside. Sex happens in hormonal humans, and my goal here is for her to be healthy and happy, not slave to the norms of entirely obsolete dating rituals. Good days are when the boyfriend is over. The only small talk I need from you is your perfect driving record and the additional added side and corner airbags.
Featured image of me and Caitlyn. I laughed at the pee-in-the-cup comment. She is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Glad you like the humor and I happy my daughter still finds humor in it as well.